“Peanuts and the Preacher!”

Mrs. Jones had been a staple of her local congregation for many years
and that is why her absence had been noticed lately. The pastor
decided to drop by her house to check up on her after the Sunday service.
He knocked on her door, and being that she’s nearly 85, it took her a bit to
get to the door.

“Hello, who is it?” she asked.

“It’s Pastor Smith,” he answered.

“Oh, Hi — Come in, Come in, how’s the ministry doing?” She said.

“Very well, I just wanted to make sure your prayer needs are
being met.”

“Oh honey, I haven’t felt well lately but I’m getting better.”

Just then, the phone rang and she excused herself to get it. The
pastor sat near a table with an old Reader’s Digest and a bowl of peanuts.
After 15 minutes, then 20, he heard his stomach growl and began to get
restless. He started in on the bowl of peanuts and began reading. After 45
minutes, he suddenly realized that he had eaten all of the peanuts.

Right then, Mrs. Jones returned and said, “Oh, I sure am sorry, that was my
sister from Pittsburgh. She only calls once a month so when she does we have
to catch up on everything.” The pastor, feeling a little embarrassed, said,
“I must also apologize, for while you were gone I got hungry and ate all the
peanuts in your little bowl there. Please, forgive me,” he said.

Mrs. Jones replied, “Oh that’s OK, anymore all I can do is just
suck the chocolate off of them!”

–Author unknown. Selected from Net153’s Sunday Funnies Mid-Week issue.

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“Life’s Tug of War!”

Life can seem ungrateful ~ and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings ~ and play with your mind.
Life can be blissful ~ and happy and free.
Life can put beauty ~ in the things that you see.

Life can place challenges ~ right at your feet.
Life can make good ~ of the hardships that we meet.
Life can overwhelm you ~ and make your head spin.
Life can reward those ~ determined to win.

Life can be hurtful ~ and not always fair.
Life can surround you ~ with people who care.
Life clearly does offer ~ its ups and its downs.
Life’s days can bring you ~ both smiles and frowns.

Life teaches us to take ~ the good with the bad.
Life is a mixture ~ of happy and sad.

So…..
Take the life that you have ~ and give it your best.
Think positive, be happy ~ let God do the rest.

Take the challenges ~ that life has laid at your feet.
Take pride and be thankful ~ for each one you meet.
To yourself give forgiveness ~ if you stumble and fall.
Take each day that is dealt you ~ and give it your all.

Take the love that you’re given ~ and return it with care.
Have faith that when needed ~ it will always be there.
Take time to find the beauty ~ in the things that you see.
Take life’s simple pleasures ~ let them set your heart free.

The idea here is simply ~ to even the score.
As you are met and faced with ~ Life’s Tug Of War.

Author Unknown – selected from Pastor Tim’s Illustrations.

–Selected from Tickles ‘n Truth Archives at Peggie’s Place!

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